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Mothers answer this: Does having a child ‘complete’ you?

Mom looking lovingly at her new baby in her arms

Short answer when I want to avoid further discussion: Yes

Long answer: Yes, but only if you really wanted one in the first place and have some sort of a support system that will ensure you retain a basic level of sanity at most times, and at other times they will take care of you and the baby, because MY GOD the tiny things can be loud and deprive you of your most basic needs and make you want to leave everything and sleep peacefully for just one hour. But look how cute they are when they sleep…awww. 

A new adventure, a new world to discover! That’s what becoming a parent has meant to me. I never knew I could love someone so much and that becoming a parent would change my life completely. I knew it was different and expected it to be difficult but nothing prepared me for it.

When I was a kid myself, I loved babies. Then as I grew I understood it’s not all chubby cheeks and cute gurgles. By the time I was a teen, I rarely had any babies around me. As I grew older, I realised I didn’t have any maternal feelings towards the kids that crossed my path. I usually found them supremely annoying, and their parents who bought them squeaky shoes even more so.

I knew I would want a baby at some point in life, but I was in no hurry. I could make that decision to wait because I knew I would be perfectly happy with an adopted baby if I couldn’t have one of my own.

Trying to get pregnant was frustrating. I think after a few months, more than wanting to hold a child I just wanted this ordeal of trying to get over. Even after my son was born, it took me a while to get around to bonding with him.

It was only after a year that I felt more stable emotionally and was able to connect with my child better. As I see him grow, my love for him becomes stronger. Our lives revolve around him, but it also consists of things that are not him.

I never gave up my reading habit. In fact I read on my Kindle while nursing him. I started going for Yoga classes (while my mom babysat him), and then I rediscovered my love for art so I made sure to take time to draw and paint every day. It started with smaller spurts of 20 to 30 minutes of ‘Me Time’ and slowly grew as my child became more independent.

I love that my baby came into my life, but only when I had really wanted him to. I knew I was ready to devote my time to him. I’m not an outgoing person, nor a career-oriented one, so I didn’t mind the restrictions that a baby put on me. 

Those who love stepping out with friends or want to move ahead in their careers would feel tied down once a baby comes into the picture. This is of course felt mainly by women because most men continue to live life as usual.

So, would I recommend having a child? Only if you and your partner (if applicable) really (like REALLY) want one.

Does a baby complete me? Not really. I felt quite frustrated when baby-minding was the only thing I did all day. Only when I started taking time to do other things I loved – for myself and by myself – I felt like a better person and a better mom. 

No one but you can complete you.

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