All posts tagged: Family

Kindle cover of Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi with a bunch of pink roses on a white fabric

Book Review: Transcendent Kingdom

Yaa Gyasi’s Transcendent Kingdom reviews were almost entirely positive, so I was at first worried that it wouldn’t live up to the hype. But oh! It did. It is a book about relationships with family and oneself, religion and race, love and loss, and mental health. The narration is by a young woman named Gifty. She was born in America to Ghanian parents. She has an older brother who overshadows her at every juncture of her life, but he is also her hero – someone she loves and looks up to. She talks about how her mother migrated to America in the hope of a better future for her firstborn son. Her father had followed reluctantly. After she was born, she could see the unhappiness in her father, who eventually chose a path away from them. “My memories of him, though few, are mostly pleasant, but memories of people you hardly know are often permitted a kind of pleasantness in their absence. It’s those who stay who are judged the harshest, simply by virtue of …

Gentle Parenting

Being a parent is the best role one can have in life. It gives you both physical and emotional satisfaction. Your child’s well being and happiness are all you think about when it comes to decisions related to your child’s life. Childhood is one of the most critical years in a person’s life. It’s also a time when parents can drastically affect their kids’ future by deciding how much influence they will have over them. Parents just want to see their children succeed, and they employ a variety of methods to shape their kids’ futures.  How much of your parenting behaviour is based on what you went through as a child? Have you told yourself that you turned out fine, and so will my kid if I hit them for the sake of discipline? Or have you gone in the complete opposite direction and cannot enforce any discipline at all? Were you listened to as a child? Did your thoughts and opinions matter? Were you threatened with dire consequences at the thought of disobedience? Were …

father and son in playful embrace

Fatherhood

Fathers have a profound influence on their children by just being there for them and teaching values through actions rather than just words. The role of a good father is immeasurable. This is of course only applicable to families where fathers are present. When fathers are good role models, they set the behavioural standard for the child to emulate and for all other men in the child’s life. Fathers have many different roles in their children’s lives. Fathers need to make sure they do an excellent job in those many different roles. A father who is a good role model will help their children respect themselves and those around them. The changing role of the modern day father Many fathers limit themselves to a box when it comes to parenting. They see themselves as the hunter-gatherers but not the nurturers. Even younger parents, I find, are not able to see beyond this role. Changing diapers, feeding, teaching and learning activities, or even dealing with the child’s emotional needs are all delegated to the mother.  This …

Mom looking lovingly at her new baby in her arms

Does having a child ‘complete’ you?

Short answer when I want to avoid further discussion: Yes Long answer: Yes, but only if you really wanted one in the first place and have some sort of a support system that will ensure you retain a basic level of sanity at most times, and at other times they will take care of you and the baby, because MY GOD the tiny things can be loud and deprive you of your most basic needs and make you want to leave everything and sleep peacefully for just one hour. But look how cute they are when they sleep…awww.  A new adventure, a new world to discover! That’s what becoming a parent has meant to me. I never knew I could love someone so much and that becoming a parent would change my life completely. I knew it was different and expected it to be difficult but nothing prepared me for it. When I was a kid myself, I loved babies. Then as I grew I understood it’s not all chubby cheeks and cute gurgles. By …

Mother with her newborn baby

Childbirth and its Aftermath

Pregnancy might be your most beautiful stage in life, but it’s certainly not as rosy as it is made to sound. Becoming a parent is the greatest thing that can happen to a person. It holds a baby inside you for nine months and then when you finally give birth you get to meet him or her. Becoming a parent is one of the biggest changes you’ll ever go through in your life. It can be exciting and scary. It’s the kind of change that will enrich your life or destroy it. Few things are as more important than parenthood. It’s a difficult job, but also an important one to have. Becoming a parent for the first time can be very intimidating. Like most women, I had only ever heard of good things that happen when you have a baby. You glow while you are pregnant and are always smiling looking at your cute baby bump in the mirror. Childbirth pain is just a minor inconvenience that you’ll forget as soon as the baby comes …

Do I want a baby now?

Growing up, having kids seemed like the natural progression of life. I even liked babies. Every adult I knew married and had immediately had a child. It’s what grown-ups did.  As I slowly became a grown-up myself, the idea seemed less appealing. There was a world to explore and marriage and kids would put restrictions. Do all women need babies? I took a travelling job and travelled without thinking about getting home to someone (apart from my anxious mother), I changed jobs and cities without giving it much thought apart from my convenience, and I catered to no one but myself. I was periodically reminded by everyone and their grandmothers how I needed to settle down and get married before I was too old. Who would want to marry a 30-year-old spinster? Moreover, babies need to be delivered in your 20s. Having babies in your 30s is too risky. But I wasn’t even ready to get married. Will I ever want a baby? Does everyone want a baby? Eventually, I did find someone I felt …